Despite the blemishes, inadequacies and general “just not right” feeling advertisements try to instill in us, I want you to know that you are enough, as you are.
Struggle of feeling “enough”
For most of my life, I have felt inadequate. In fact, it wasn’t until the last few years of my life that I truly felt like enough ⏤ for myself.
I saw pictures of other people’s appearances, and it made mine feel ugly. I would get an “A” on something, and someone else would get an “A+”. Both scores above adequacy, and yet their higher score made me feel like I wasn’t as capable as them.
I often compared myself to the ideals of everyone else that I crafted in my mind from the positive snapshots of their lives I witnessed.
However, I ⏤ and anyone doing that now ⏤ is setting themselves up to feel inadequate all the time. Because you’re truly projecting what you want to be on someone else.
And the truth is, even if they are that person in that moment, that’s not them all the time.
You are enough, others might not be for you
The pitfall I’ve fallen into, and I’ve talked to many others that have, is the idea that because you’re not enough for someone, that you’re simply not enough.
Let me just state a harsh truth about romantic relationships: They only work if both people are enough for themselves.
When two people with common interests and who are confident in what they bring to the table come together, no one automatically feels out of place or inadequate.
Oddly, the most satisfying break-ups of my life have come in the last five years. Not because I like hurting people’s feelings or because I like others to hurt me, but because they weren’t petty. There wasn’t bad blood.
Wanting something else doesn’t make you inadequate
They were acknowledgments that, while we’re enough for the things we want, we don’t want the same things. And that feeling on each other’s part was not inadequacy. It was simply two capable people who just wanted different futures.
And there’s no blame in that. That’s life.
I never think of any of those people I was with as being inadequate or not enough for me. They were wonderful people. We just didn’t want the same things.
Knowing how to differentiate between a difference of wants and your own pull to see yourself as inadequate is the biggest struggle in these situations, in my opinion.
You’re enough; are you in the right place?
As easy as it is to fall into degrading yourself, I encourage you to acknowledge that ⏤ if you’re reading this today ⏤ you were enough to settle your problems yesterday.
It’s very likely that you’ll do the same today, regardless of how nervous you may feel.
You are enough. Tell yourself that ⏤ as often as is needed until it sinks in.
Now that you know you’re enough for what you want, here’s the question I’ll leave you to ponder today:
Are you in the right spot to get the things you want?
There is Help
Vivent Health offers fentanyl test strips, so that users can determine the presence of fentanyl in other substances. For more information, call 262-657-6644.
Kenosha County Public Health also offers free training and supplies of Narcan, a medication that reverses the effects of an opioid overdose. For more information, visit https://bit.ly/KCNarcan or call 262-605-6741.
The Kenosha County Mental Health and Substance Abuse Resource Center may be reached from 8 a.m. to 5 p.m. Monday-Friday at 262-764-8555.
The Kenosha County Crisis Hotline operated is also available 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, at 262-657-7188. Kenosha Human Development Services operates the hotline.
Ep. 13: The problem of being overly positive – Inside the Mind of Daniel Thompson
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